Guru

A few months back, during a particularly emotional week, I found myself nearly in tears, saying to a friend, "I want a guru!" 

My friend, in his wisdom, looked at me with a calm expression and asked, "Really?" A major pause. "Why?" 

"Well, I don't know..." I responded, imagining living an austere life on a mountain somewhere near the end of the earth, in service of some bald-headed being. "Maybe I don't want a guru exactly. But I need some help! Why can't someone just give me some guidance. Sometimes I just want someone to tell me what to do!" My friend smiled, nodded, and said little else. 

Ten minutes later, as we were meditating on the beach, I found a place of stillness within myself, and the answers I needed flooded forth (along with many tears). I rescinded my statement, ceding to the power of my own inner guide. 

Still, sometimes in life, we need guidance, and sometimes it feels like it really needs to come from something outside of us-- from an objective perspective perhaps, or from someone who has traveled down the same path before. 

According to some texts, the word guru comes from the sanskrit, "gu," meaning "darkness," and  "ru," meaning "light." A loose translation then is a guru is a dispeller of darkness, one who guides another from darkness to light. 

When I have broached the conversation of gurus to others, I have often been quoted the popular adage from Confuscious, who says, "when the student is ready, the guru appears." 

Throughout the course of my life, I have had many teachers, but never one I considered my "guru." I thus took this to be a sign that I wasn't ready. Recently however, I've begun to notice a proliferation of people who are enlightening me-- literally bringing more light, wisdom and guidance, into my life on a daily basis-- true gurus, by this definition. These people come from all parts of my past and present-- friends from college who are slowly becoming interested in what I've been chanting all these years and who now have their own amazing insights to share; my niece, whose independent dedication to her faith as a young woman is beyond inspiring; my beautiful and diverse coworkers; my spiritual/religious/zen-without-trying-to-be Mom and Dad! 

David Swenson, in his manual on Ashtanga Yoga asks the question, "What does a yogi look like?" He writes:

The learned sage draped in robes, residing in a cave or mystical temple is the image of spirituality which is sometimes sought by the western student. There are certainly saintly persons residing in such abodes yet it is not the only place to look. In my quest for knowledge I have felt at times to be like a fish swimming in the ocean looking hear and there for the ocean itself. All knowledge is available to us within each breath if we are but aware enough to recognize it. I thank my family [and friends] for exhibiting the qualities of a yogi in their daily life and interactions. 

As I reflect on these words and my own experiences, I see I am literally surrounded by gurus-- that I am daily being lifted from the darkness into light by the people who love, nourish and care for me. 

I am humbled by all of you, and I thank you, with deep recognition of your light and teachings.

Namaste. With love.